Funny story

[ellanoize]

Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk...

a) Innovative

b) Preliminary

c) Proliferation

d) Cinnamon


Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk...

a) Specificity

b) British Constitution

c) Passive-aggressive disorder

d) Transubstantiate


Things that are DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk...

a) Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you.

b) Nope, no more booze for me.

c) Sorry, but you're not really my type.

d) No pizza for me, thank you.

e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?

f) I'm not interested in fighting you.

g) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing.

h) Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have zero co-ordination.

i) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to pee in the street

j) I must be going home now as I have to work in the morning.

k) Nudie run? Not for me thanks.

[Sportyfan]

Rog, I have to disagree with you on the difficult and very difficult words to say when you're drunk. I can say them very easily. People may not be able to understand them, but that's their problem!
As for the things that are impossible to say? I can state categorically that I don't get drunk and sing!
[img]wink.gif[/img] [img]wink.gif[/img] [img]wink.gif[/img]

[cherrysis]

Nudie run? Not for me thanks.


I'm guilty as charged on this one!!!! [img]redface.gif[/img]

[ellanoize]

Sis, Why am I not Surprised.

You make me smile...thanks [img]graemlins/rose.gif[/img]

[ellanoize]

Woman: Would you get married again if I died?
Man: Definitely not!
Woman: Why not -- don't you like being married?
Man: Of course I do.
Woman: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
Man: Okay, I'd get married again.
Woman: You would? (With a hurtful look on her face)
Man: (audible groan)
Woman: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
Man: Where else would we sleep?
Woman: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her?
Man: That would seem like the proper thing to do.
Woman: And would you let her use my golf clubs?
Man: She can't use them -- she's left-handed.
Woman: (silence)
Man: Sh*t.

[cherrysmum]

my my aren't we just full of it today LOL...Just one funny post from board to board...I'm loving it..thanks ROG...

[ellanoize]

Hello [img]graemlins/rose.gif[/img] Mum, I heard you giggling, Sorry I made you run from board to board to find funnies, but wasn't it worth it???

While yer here lets see if this can make you smile...



rOGEr

[ellanoize]

A recent widow was crying to a grief counselor. "We were married twenty-five years before he died," she said, dabbing away a tear. "Never had an argument in all those years."
"Amazing," said the councelor. "How did you do it?"
"I outweighed him by forty pounds and he was a coward."

[img]biggrin.gif[/img]

[ellanoize]

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a Trooper.

"Ma'am, I'm not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy."

"Oh, I'll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home."

"That's fine..... Another thing, ma'am. I don't like the way that one rein loops across the horse's back and around one of his balls. I consider that animal abuse. That's cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care of that right away!"

Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the Trooper.

"Well, dear, what exactly did he say?"

"He said the reflector is broken."

"OK, I can fix that in two minutes. What else?"

"I'm not sure, Jacob... something about the emergency brake."

[cherrysis]

ROTF!!! Those were GREAT!!!